• dev lizzard Fri Aug 5, 2016 @ 6:25 pm

    THE URLING TIMES  #2

    News and gossip from the Children of Ur

    ~ Groddle Forest Junction, Moonday, 1st of Candy ~

    Hooch Shortage Continues

    Ur continues to suffer from a severe lack of Hooch. This tasty distilled beverage made from grain is sorely missed by many hard-working Urlings. And yet there's still hope for happy hour. As a stopgap measure, grow some pumpkins in a community garden, buy some beer, break out your cocktail shakers and make a batch of hearty Pumpkin Ale! By crafting a mere 11 Pumpkin Ales, you'll qualify as a Mediocre Mixologist, a credential currently achievable in no other way.

    Picnic in Bonebottle Sands

    High tea, flummery, and fun - that was the scene yesterday at the Bonebottle Sands Tea at the Groddle Meadows Tea Club semi-weekly picnic. The Urchins attending scattered sandwiches, crabato, and coffee in artistic patterns across the meadows. In a disreputable corner, where the drunken gnome sat with his distilling setup, someone constructed a fruity phallus out of two apples and an inexplicably giant banana. An emblem of Humbaba by a soulful piglet sitting in a "warming platform" (aka a frying pan) invited the picnic-goers to religious contemplation and longing for bacon wallpaper. Tomorrow's picnic will congregate in Greenvern Mend, under the rainbow! Bring sno-cones!

    Military Outpost Vandalized

    Major Minor of Drifa reports: Hey! Some joker decorated Fort Aban Don with cherries on all the crenellations. How is the Heli-Kat Army supposed to focus on shooting sno-cone vendor cubis out of their slingshots at the invading Rook-crazed Heli-Kittens, when they're standing on what looks like a delicious ice cream cake with cherries on top?  Very distracting.

    Events

    Rumor has it that the Groddle Meadow Tea Club will have a social hour in Greenvern Mend, 4pm PST.  Bring festive treats to share and expect hijinks under the rainbow!

    New Reports

    Urlings!  Send gossip or contribute an article through Urmail to lizzard and it will be in the next URLING TIMES.   Letters to the Editor are also encouraged - please comment below!  And, post your best photos of the day here to record all of our memorable adventures!

    Picnic in Bonebottle Sands


  • dev Elle Lament Sat Aug 6, 2016 @ 1:43 am

    Love this newspaper so much, lizzard! You're very insightful!

    A "pinch of salt" was left in Bonebottle Sands after the Tea yesterday. I can only assume it was Zubes or Sir Francis Bacon, notorious No-No Powder slingers.